Addiction Alchemy | Sexual Addiction

THE ROLE OF SACRED SEXUALITY IN DIVINE UNION
by Renee Bledsoe

Humans possess a drive for sex that most of us would put on a par with that of hunger, thirst and breathing. There is not a human on this planet that can live without food, water and air for more than a range of moments to mere days, yet this is clearly not so for sex. So why do we feel so driven by it? And how did Mother Theresa survive without sex, how does the Dali Lama make it through the day or Nelson Mandella incarcerated in isolation for all those unending years come back and passionately lead a nation?

The answer is simple: They were getting some! Not in the way that most of us relate to our sexuality, but they were obviously connected to all the same powers of sacred sexuality that is available to all humans, celibate or not. I believe that they were able to connect to the same part of their inner selves and energy centers that the act of sacred sexuality can access for those of us whose higher purpose does not involve celibacy. After all, if we all took an oath of celibacy, humans would become extinct. Clearly, this is not meant to be the way. And so in a very real sense sex is in fact a need, perhaps not a direct personal survival need, but rather a need that serves the whole of the human species.

Common sense tells us that the vast majority of us are here to know joy through the creation of a family and expressing love in a divine union, as we proliferate the human race. But, what if all the monks, priests, nuns and celibates are here to let the rest of us know that sex is not just a need...but a means. And you can end up in the same place of connection and unification through devotion to the greater good and your own highest callings. In other words, what if you could experience divine union without another person involved or having sex? And what if attaining this status is what would actually create your ability to form a divine union and enjoin sacred sexuality with another person?

For those of us who don't even comprehend sacred sexuality and divine union this will be a lost concept. Yet, it is inarguable: Mother Theresa survived...neigh thrived without sex. If you have ever connected to someone you deeply love, emotionally, spiritually and physically then you have connected to the same life force that Mother Theresa connected to when she ministered to the sick and afflicted.

This is a call sign and a beacon to us all that there is more...much more to this thing we call sex than our five senses has detected. Maybe the ceremony and ritual of sacred sexuality is a shortcut or a practice to those of us who are less rigorously involved with higher devotions to be able to tap into and allow divine energy to heal and edify us. What would that mean to us? How could this help us to be better, more loving, more fulfilled human beings?

The answer is that we can't have sacred sex until we are ready for it. It is always there waiting for us to be able to recognize what it takes, but often remains frustratingly elusive. Many are not even seeking it or are seeking it but don't know what it feels like, looks like or acts like. It is incredibly easy to get lost in the sex act itself, mesmerized by people and situations that fulfill our need for connection and to give and receive love. But this is not sacred sex, especially if any of the participants are coming from a place of lack, perhaps of what they did not experience in childhood or relationship trauma. Not that this sexual exchange may not serve the needs of the individuals, however, it may not be serving the higher needs of the relationship as a whole. Quite simply because we may not be in recognition that there is a higher purpose to serve.

The secret key is honesty and integrity, and even this is cloaked and shrouded. Because the key is not just surface honesty, but the honesty that comes from knowing yourself inside and out, understanding your own nature and the nature of humans. For each of us can only judge if we are being healed or medicated by sex or if we are in divine union relationship. For the pathway to divine union is accessed through the narrowest of pathways within ourselves and it's gatekeeper is the Truth.

Think about it...why is it that sex with a new partner is so exciting and often perceived to be more fulfilling than with "old" partners? One answer could be that there isn't any baggage yet or surface lies in the relationship. If there are lies and deceptions in the relationship, then you may be able to connect sexually by going into denial (which is lying to yourself), but this is where the energetic damage begins to occur and if any breaches of integrity or lies are present the connection will become harder and harder to establish. Soon you will be connecting sheerly on a physical level and nothing more. Ultimately, there will be no connection of any sort as the act brings about more "pain", than pleasure.

Tapping into sacred sex is sometimes seen as something of a quest for the Holy Grail. And if this is so, as with the Grail, as we go deeper in our search we will ultimately uncover that the secret has lain within our own interiors the whole time. For by staying in the present moment, becoming unafraid to explore our own feelings and the feelings of others, being honest which is the doorway to true intimacy, we can make that divine connection. It is then that the need for any sort of denial or fantasy simply fails to come into play. Yet what if truly sacred sex is not possible outside of divine union?

If this is so, if this is the failsafe for our own ultimate well being, then we come to know that the real thing, at any price, may just be too good, too fulfilling, too healing and too magnificent to miss, even though we may not have experienced divine union yet with another. When we step into awareness that every time we medicate with sex or engage in sex outside of an honest committed relationship, we may be trading and forestalling our ability to bring the very thing that we want most into our lives: true love and devotion. Yet, no doubt this is a process and much to learn and unlearn along the way. As we become more conscious about what sex really means to our existence and our well being, our choices become clearer.

What we may come to know in our hearts and souls is that anything that keeps us from the real thing of making love is just not worth it. It is then that we understand that sacred sex and the energy exchange that it provides can be brought into every aspect of our relationships and creations through the power of true romance and the flow of divine love.

It is then that we can allow the fire of creation, the kundalini and the very life force that is coursing through our bodies and souls to come forth and enrich our lives with passion, pleasure, purpose and peace. It is then that we will be able to connect in divine union with ourselves, because we know who and what we really are.

And finally as we touch the deepest parts of our soul, if and when we are ready, we can enter into a sacred marriage and divine union with another...not our other half, not the one that completes us, but the one that completes the sacred union of two souls and makes the relationship whole. For being in service to this sacred relationship is the altar of our ability to connect heaven to earth, not only through our sexuality, but through our devotion to the union. This is what we are all ultimately seeking. This is the Holy Grail.

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